Noah….Rennaissance Man….

If you read the Bible even occasionally, you know the story of Noah and the flood. You know, the one where God decided “the heck with this” and wiped out every living thing on the face of the earth, except for one guy who was faithful enough to build a really big boat. And he wasn’t just faithful to build the boat, but he worked on it for years out in a dry, desert region that had rarely seen rain. No doubt the local villagers thought he was nuts.

But Noah recognized one thing…that floods can indeed occur anywhere, and at any time. Of course this particular flood was going to occur everywhere so there was no escaping it, and it was the result of some really Divine intervention, but I digress. And when the rains came, and came, and came, and the waters began to rise, Noah and his family were ready. They were ready and prepared for the flood that was coming and when it was all said and done, they were the only people on the planet that survived. Pretty strong case for being prepared, no?

Of course floods still occur today, and while we have yet to see another on one that particular level, they can still wipe out life and property on a pretty impressive scale. The flood of Noah’s day set the precedent for my conclusion that nobody is immune from the threat of flooding, and when it happens to you, you’d better be prepared.

So how do you prepare for a flood? Run. Run like a river when the snow melts. Riding out a flood is ridiculous. At best you’ll end up like the one goober we see on every flood related newscast walking hip deep in water carrying an umbrella, and at worst the search parties might luck up and find your body swept downriver somewhere.

You need to have an evacuation route planned and follow it. At the risk of insulting your intelligence, I will go one further and suggest that your evacuation route lead to higher ground.

You need to have a “go bag” prepared, with clothes for several days, food, bottled water, credit cards, extra cash, important documents (big bag, huh?), a battery powered radio with extra batteries, and anything else you may need for an extended stay under some not so pleasant conditions.

So you’ve got your bag and your plan, now it’s time to hit the road. If you have time, shut off utilities to your house, but if not, get out. And be aware of your surroundings while driving. Do not attempt to drive through flood waters that are crossing a road, for depth is deceptive. The road may in fact not be there anymore, and it only takes two feet of moving water to sweep away a car. Need I elaborate?

If you do screw up and end up in flood waters, roll down the window to escape. The weight of the water will not let you open the door. If your window will not open, then wait for the car to fill with water; the pressure will equalize and your door should open. I know that sounds like cutting it close (as in the-man-with-the-sickle-reading-over-your-shoulder close), but in a pinch, that’s about all you have left.

So that is the word for the day… Like many of you, I have a serious aversion to drowning…..I much prefer breathing. So follow my advice and you’ll remain upright and taking in air hopefully for many more years to come.

G’day, mates…..

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